Upon our first visit to the home of an Austrian family, I was given a small gift - a wonderful gift - a delicious gift. I was given a small jar of homeade Plum Jam by our host, Peter Huber, who had just prepared it using the plums he'd picked from the Autrian countryside just a few days prior. This jam was like no other I have tasted before. Perfectly tangy and perfectly sweet, with just the right amount of tartness. Spread on some fresh-from-the-bakery dark bread, it was simply delightful. Everyone in the family had a taste of Peter's Plum Jam, and everyone liked it. Before the jar was empty, however, it may have mysteriously dissapeared for the next few days... and I may have had a bit more Plum Jam all by myself... in secret. :)
(I failed to snap a photo of Peter's plum jam, but it looked a lot like this.)
When the sad day came that every last bit of Peter's Plum Jam had been scrupulously scraped out of the jar with a rubber spatula, I went on a search to see if there was anything like it that was sold in the grocery stores. Lucky for me, I found one brand of jam that strayed away from the typcial strawberry, apricot, and red currant flavors of jam here, and offered Plum Jam! It isn't nearly as good as Peter's homeade jam, but it still had a unique sweetness to it that our whole family loves... so naturally, we go through at least one jar a week. No other flavors of jam are ever requested anymore. Nope, we are purely Plum Jam people now. Add it to the vast array of yummy fresh breads availalbe here, and you just can't go wrong. And all too often, our Plum Jam supply looks like this:
Then the other day at my go-to grocery store, as I was putting our weekly ration of plum jam in my basket, I discovered a new brand of jam there, with a big read sign that said "Neu!" I noticed that they offered a few unique flavors of jam, like ginger, and blood orange - and then I saw it - PLUM JAM! A new brand of Plum Jam! Could it be that this brand tastes a little more like Peter's? A little more homeade? It was slightly more expensive, and made in a different part of the country - so I thought it was well worth a try. I bought it, with every intention to have a side by side Plum Jam taste test.
I waited for the timing to be just right. Typically at breakfast time, I don't ever get to sit down at the table, because I am usually on my feet more like a busy waitress, answering request after request like,
"Mom, I dropped my spoon on the floor, can I please have another one?"
"Mom, can I have more milk?"
"Mom, I spilled!"
"Mom, can you make a smoothie?"
"Mom, can you get me a yogurt?"
"Mom, I need a napkin."
"Mom, are there any more eggs?"
"Mom, I spilled again!"
"Mom, can you make some toast with Plum Jam, please?"
Anyone who is a "Mom" gets what I mean.
No, I wanted to be able to enjoy my Plum Jam taste test in peace, with no interruptions, so I waited. I didn't eat breakfast with the kids that morning. After I returned home from dropping all of them off at school, I went straight to the kitchen for Plum Jam.
I toasted a peice of bread, and carefully spread one half with my regular brand of Plum Jam, and the other half with the new Plum Jam. I was surprised to see even the vast color difference between the two. The original Plum Jam, like Peter's Plum Jame, had a deep, almost black, purple color. The new jam was more red and translucent. Different! Hmm, maybe better?! This should be good. This should be very good.
I took a bite of the original Plum Jam first, because I wanted to get the 'normal' flavor in my mouth before I tasted then new one, so that I could notice any slight difference in taste. As I took a bite, I relished the flavor, loving the sweet tanginess of it. Mmm, Plum Jam... it just never gets old.
And then I took a bite of the new jam...
I nearly puked. I spat it out right on my plate. It tasted like poison! It tasted horrible! It tasted like rotten garbage!
"Is this a mean trick?!" I thought.
"Have I just been poisoned?!"
"Did something die in this Jar of Plum jam?"
I picked up the jar to look for an expiration date. Surely this jar is defective. Surely no Plum Jam could ever taste this bad on purpose! I found the date - 03.12.2016. Nope, not expired. Did I just get really unlucky and get a rotten batch? I started scanning the label, naturally written in German, looking for any clues as to why this jam tasted so badly, and simultaneously searching my brain for the translation of "disgusting" in German.
And then I saw it. The fine print. At the bottom of the label that so beautifully displayed the delictable purple plums, and the appetizing Plum Jam title, "Zwetschke" printed in fancy cursive.... there it was, in smallish letters...
"Mit Jamaica Rum."
With Rum? RUM?! Who puts RUM in their PLUM JAM?! For the love, people! It's JAM! It's supposed to be sweet! It's not supposed to taste like rotten garbage! It's supposed to taste like sugary plums and tangy goodness! Not RUM! Rum is NASTY! And believe me, Rum from Jamaica doesn't taste any better! This is no ryhming game here! Leave the RUM out of my PLUM Jam!
So, yeah... maybe I should have read the label better. But honestly... would you have ever guessed that there would be Rum in your Plum Jam? I think not. It's Garbage. And that is exactly where that jar went.
I'm done venting now.
I think I'll go have a piece of toast with Plum Jam.